Published on November 30th, 2012 | by Max Evans-Wild0
Moustache implants on the rise in Middle East (the land of permanent Movember)
Today may be the last day of Movember, but that doesn’t mean the spirit of the moustache is dead. Not by a long shot. Moustache implants are more popular than ever, and it is mainly Middle Eastern men who are travelling to destinations such as Turkey to avail themselves of their tragic wispiness.
Context, you say? In the Middle East, particularly in traditionally Arabic countries, the moustache has considerable cultural significance. A man’s moustache is considered to be strongly linked with his maturity, masculinity, virility and social status. The ability to say “mine’s bigger than yours” is everything. It seems that to an Arabic man, a thin film of fuzz on the upper lip is every bit as bad as a receding hairline.
This is why you rarely see a Middle Eastern man with no facial hair (although I don’t know what deposed Egyptian President Mubarak thinks he’s playing at.) The idea of a moustache being bound up with a man’s personal pride seems to exist in Middle Eastern politics even now. This was demonstrated by Izzat Ibrahim al-Douri, a member of Saddam Hussein’s government, to a cartoonish degree in 2003 when he yelled “Curse be upon your moustache, you traitor” at a Kuwaiti representative.
The procedure is done by taking follicles from “areas of dense hair growth” on other, suspiciously ambiguous, parts of the body and implanted into the upper lip for a more statesman-like mo. It takes about six months before results can be seen though, so anyone aiming for next Movember should plan long in advance.
The spirit of manliness is apparently not dead over in the US either, as J&DS have recently brought out a new bacon-scented shaving cream which will make users “smell and feel like a champion.” A champion who works in a greasy spoon presumably. It will probably come to Britain at some point, although it’s unlikely to catch on in Iraq.
And that’s the last we’ll hear of Movember-related news for another year, rendering moustache-based articles grossly indecorous once again.
Photo: Yana Segal