Australia rejoices about story reinforces every single stereotype the rest of the world views has about it.
When I was seven I made up some ridiculous fibs. I once told my brother that there were actually people within the television and that turning it on brought them back to life whilst turning it off put them to sleep. He pushed the TV off its stand in an effort to free them and I learnt about the power of lying, a lesson that stayed with me all the way through astronaut porn star school. The main point is you shouldn’t believe children. They are shifty dishonest homunculi prone to fantasy.
Still the tale of seven-year-old Simon Kruger is so awesome you pray that he isn’t making it up. Simon was out in the outback with his parents when he saw a wallaby and decided to follow it into the bush. Pretty soon he got lost. When he was discovered 24 hours later he had a pretty fantastical tale to tell.
Apparently he had been picking flowers for his mum (which sounds like a lie I would use if I wanted an extra helping of pudding) when he came face to face with a kangaroo. After feeding the kangaroo the flowers it fell asleep next to Simon, giving him the body heat to survive the freezing outback night. Simon was eventually spotted and winched to safety. Watch the local news report below and reflect on how difficult it must be for Australian anchors to report on tragedies with their chipper accent:
So is there any support or evidence for Simon’s story? Well his mum said his clothes smelled like kangaroo. Although this doesn’t prove anything because according to Planet Ivy’s own in-house Australian (if you’re going to get one make sure you put fresh newspaper on the floor everyday) kangaroos smell identical to goats, which is nowhere near as cool a story. But kangaroos have aided people in need before.
Still I suspect that this may be a distinctly Aussie version of a Life of Pi-style allegorical hallucination. Or maybe the ‘kangaroo’ was simply a very hairy man with a space-hopper.
Image by Arron Jacobs at Flickr