Published on December 18th, 2012 | by Brogan Morris
Inside Britain’s worst student flat [Video]
When is it time to clean your student house? Clue: when the vomit in your sink starts to grow mould.
You probably thought your student digs were filthy, but closer inspection of the video above proves that you may have been wrong. With a kitchen sink resembling a soupy, dawn-of-the-Earth scenario and a garden kitted out with explosives, this Portsmouth dwelling would seem uninhabitable were it not for a narrator gleefully explaining that he lives here. Highlights of the house include three toilets filled to the brim with human waste, a monumental kitchen-based trash-pile and a hole in the wall which the toilet masturbators of this place use as fingering practice. Crazy student hijinks? No. It looks like the world has ended and everyone has stopped caring.
The narrator/cameraman seems enormously proud of his abode, almost as though he’s forgotten he has to live in it. Maybe he should be proud; the stolen road block (“For blockin’ roads ‘n’ shit”) puts the traditional student’s half-inched traffic cone to shame. The road block also acts as a reminder of the distant civilisation outside this garbaged-hellpit, a place where no housing deposit shall ever be returned. What’s for certain is that only one thing will ever clean this place: fire. Lots of fire.
Watch the video above if you enjoy the sensation of nausea.